It was yet another morning of hurry and rush…I step out of the apartment without a jacket and untied shoe laces to catch the bus… with temperatures reaching 5 degrees below zero, snowy morning and slippery walkways. Trust me, I had my laptop backpack , my vanity bag , travel card, mobile phone and the house keys in my hands and I sprinted to the bus stop to find that there was nobody in the bus stop and no bus.

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It was a such an I-hate-myself moment. I wanted to kick myself hard for the time I tossed lazily in the bed browsing the news site. I cursed those moment i hit snooze and I changed the alarm time.

I stood freezing in the snow and I saw the time display board, there was a minute more for the bus to arrive… and there it entered the bay.headaches

I sit panting for breath. Annoyed with myself I dumped the keys and the card. Then I begin digging my bag for cosmetics… cold cream , lip balm…. fasten my shoe lace , brush my hair of the dampness from the snow. Hugh… this isn’t a happening on a blue moon. But an everyday affair.

It happens with a little variation like I don’t wear my socks on a few days and slip my barefoot into the shoes.. sometimes it is just the unfastened lace. but happens everyday.

Having lived 50% of the average human life (considering the average of my generation ;-)), I feel an urge in me to change this. This gives me a tough start for the day.

I didn’t have to cook for a family, feed kids and send them to school before this rush. I don’t have any chores to do.. I don’t exercise in the morning and I don’t even have breakfast or coffee.

I really want to change this.. and stop hating myself for this.

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It isn’t because of an inspiration …

It isn’t a new year resolution…

It isn’t motivation or not even self motivation…

It is true want of freedom. A want for a morning calm…

This post is the beginning of the little changes I want in life. As 2014 drew to a close, I made a journal entry on what I have achieved in the year and what I wish to achieve in 2015.  Thoughts are always around a Me (v 4.0). Yes I want a new version of me and this step one towards version 4.0.

Wish me luck!!