I read the article in the link below recently and the comments section too.
I sat in introspection for hours and i still continue to question something or the other about the article. Did any question arise in your mind while reading this?
I will put forth the same questions here. Would such discussion happen between a dad and daughter in our households too? And would dads give such answers? If you said “yes” to both the questions, why was this piece of discussion which happened in some part of the world making news in the national media in India?
Looking back at the past I have had situations where my dad gave answers pretty similar to the one in discussion. But why did we girls had to ask our dad’s permission always? Why do girls we seek the approval or acceptance from dads (parents), brothers or husbands always? I don’t mean it applies only to girls and not guys.. It applies to girls all through their lives. But guys break off from this mundane practice at some age and is not expected from them always. (from my observation)
I do not know if I would have dared to ask my dad something I knew or I doubted he would deny. And true to my heart my dad is not a terrorizing person. But generalising this , I know of many girls who would not ask their parents something they feared would be rejected. Call it the lack of guts, but all I would say was the fear of being judged audacious. More to it was the fear of rejection.
I regret the situations were I have accepted “NO” for an answer but never fought back. Given a chance I would never fight back too, but would sadly settle down with the “NO”. This isn’t just me, this would be the voice of many girls. Do we always exercise the liberty available to voice our thoughts? Fear of denial conquers my thoughts.
By refusing I don’t mean that dads are wrong. They made us accept things they felt were right and we were made to believe it. All I ask are we girls equipped to face the NOs, rejection? What would the girl reaction be if her dad have said a no to remove the hijab? Nevertheless, here the girl did not want to remove the hijab. But what if she wanted to remove and the dad said no.
This tweet being praised in the media for a “model dad” would have been cursed as a “symbol of oppression”. Ha ha.. I would still say the dad was right. I feel that is how the dad wants to the girl to be and he isn’t at fault at all. Eventually the girl would continue wearing the hijab not just covering her head but her thoughts too. And someday write a post like this too.
On performing a reality check, our brains are wired and coded to conform to the expectations of our parents and husbands. Don’t get me wrong that I mean slavery, we are given liberty to execute freewill within defined boundaries with prior approval. Adding to it is the fact that we girls over the years have accepted this as “normalcy”.